��� 2007-03-11, 6:24 p.m.
Don't Make Me Use My Southern Accent
Today I was minding my own business in my kitchen when I heard a bunch of screaming and yelling kids. Not an uncommon event in our neighborhood but I decided to check it out because it sounded so close.
Sure enough, there were four or five kids, probably between the ages of seven and ten, playing around in our portion of the creek. Now, I don't blame them. If I was a kid I would want to play down there. But the last thing I want is for a kid to get hurt while playing on my property so I try to discourage it.
I walked out on the deck that overlooks the wooded area in the back yard where the creek is. Usually if I just stand there and stare long enough it freaks the kids out enough that I don't ever have to open my mouth. Not today.
Then the kids pissed me off. They started picking up rocks and slamming them into the river bed. So I yelled at them to stop throwing stuff. Suprisingly, when I yell at kids I have a southern accent. Seriously. I said, "Ya'll stop throwin' stuff!"
They ignored me. So I yelled it again, louder, and with more southern. The oldest one looked at me, then bent down and picked up another rock. That little @#&*(#$&. So I yelled again, this time threatening to call the cops. Slowly they wandered off while I stood up there and stared them down.
My mother would not have known who I was. I said, "Hay! Ya'll hear me? I sayed stop throwin' stuff! Do Ah need to call the police?"
I felt like a southern mama. I shudda told 'em I was gonna wear em out.
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