��� 2005-12-05, 9:02 p.m.
Up!
I was very up today for no reason at all. After having a stressful weekend over some old issues that resulted in me probably losing a friend I would think I'd be a bitch from hell today. Instead, I felt light and hopeful. Peaceful, even. I guess all that crap was weighing me down more than I ever thought. I said good-bye to someone (probably for good) and forgave someone else that I thought I never would. If that's really the reason I feel this way, it's made a heck of a difference.
My morning at work was hectic and demanding. Up I stayed. The afternoon was long and not very productive. Good mood was unwavering. I went to Kung Fu feeling powerful and ready. And boy did I kick some ass. No longer was I living in fear of people's feet or praying for mercy. I got up close and personal and punched them in the face. When they tried to push me around I pushed back twice as hard, twice as fast. I really let myself do what I knew I could but was too afraid to...and I didn't hurt anyone. Much of my hesitency in sparring is fear of injuring someone. I guess I just needed to trust myself a little.
Man, I really hope this feeling sticks around. I'll need it to survive this month!
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