��� 2005-08-27, 10:18 a.m.
Spirit Guide or WTF?
I have officially survived my second oral surgery. I don't feel as shitty as I did last time around, perhaps because of massive nerve damage to the roof of my mouth. Thank God that's not where the taste buds are located.
In the last 24 hours I spent 14 hours in bed. The other ten were at the oral surgeon's office. Ok, maybe it wasn't ten hours but it felt like it. The appointment time was 10am and I didn't get called back to get started until almost 11:30, then the procedure took about an hour. THEN we had to go to the pharmacy to pick up the drugs.
Last time I had nitrous I had some great fantasies that helped me survive. This time was kind of different. Almost...creepy. As the gas started to kick in I was deciding where I wanted to go. I've never been to the Bahamas, I thought, I should go there. The doctor started to get to work and I got scared. Then I heard myself say, "Don't think about him, come with me."
I saw myself smiling at myself, holding out my hand. I took mine/her hand and next thing I knew I was sitting on a white sandy beach in one of those long relaxing chairs, wearing a bikini (and looking good in it), a mohito in my hand. She/Me was sitting next to me, looking identical, also drinking a mohito.
"Don't worry about him," she said. "Let him do his thing and we'll do ours. Drink your mohito."
I took a drink. It was tasty.
"There are reasons for everything," she/me said. "Take for example that you haven't been published. There's a reason for that, too. There are some things you have to go through before you'll be able to write the book you were born to write."
I raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth.
"And, no," she/me said, "You haven't written or thought of it yet. Don't get me wrong, you've written some great stuff."
She/me took a drink of her mohito. "Like your vampire novel. You so need to finish rewriting that one, it's great. And publish your other one for God's sake. The people you sent it to haven't responded, just send it somewhere else. I think you know where to send it."
She/me took another drink and looked at her watch.
"I have to go. He's going to be done soon anyway. And don't worry about that, you'll get over it."
She/Me stood up and patted me on the shoulder.
"Finish your drink and enjoy the scenery while it lasts. See you later."
With that, she/me walked away. I sat, staring out at the crystalline water and lonely palm tree. I finished my drink and the oral surgeon finished sewing up the roof of my mouth. Then it was all over.
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