��� 2006-04-25, 9:45 p.m.
Retirement Tickets
Today was...a challenge. Every time I turned around new shit was hitting the fan. Every time something new sprang up I told Nan that I was buying $5 more in lotto tickets for tonight's drawing and began referring to them as "retirement tickets." I was up to $45 by the end of the day. (I ended up buying $5 worth. Oh well.)
We were dealing with an IRS audit today. My boss must have been nervous or something (the auditor has shown open contempt for us in the past) so I'm glad Nan was the one to greet him when he showed up. I love Nan. She had him laughing and cracking jokes with her by the time I showed up. A laughing, happy auditor with a Coke and a smile is good, good thing.
Then my boss showed up and started exhibiting bizarre behavior. First, he started introducing the auditor to everyone in the office including a woman we'd never met before who had stopped by because she had a lunch appointment with him. What the hell? I added $5 to my lotto pledge. Then we were discussing his current audit issues when the boss's cell phone rang. He answered it. He freaking answered it in front of the auditor. WTF??? Nan and I sat, slack-jawed and the auditor looked incredulous. I added $10 to my lotto pledge.
If we get out of this alive, I'll be amazed.
Then later in the day MaryAnn screwed up something royally that I had given her. The boss crawled so far up her ass we had to set up a pulley system to get him out. I've never seen him rip someone a new one like that before. I understand why, but it was unpleasant to have to stand there next to her and watch her get an angry rectal exam.
All I can hope is that my measley $5 worth of Mega Millions tickets is enough to secure my early retirement.
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