��� 2005-07-20, 9:32 p.m.
Lotto Whore
I feel like one of those little old ladies that is always buying lottery tickets and hanging out on the lotto website. The eighty-eight year old grandma that stays up to watch them actually draw the numbers. She's on every state lottery mailing list for the surrounding four states. She also has twelve cats and the candies in her candy dish are eight years old.
This is what I've been reduced to. A lotto whore. Just about every night I've got something. Mega Millions, Lotto South, Fantasy 5. You name it, I can tell you what days of the week the drawings are and on what channel and at what time you can watch the magic balls being drawn. I'm on the GA State lotto website twice a day, just in case those pesky numbers went and changed on me.
I'm holding onto tonight's Lotto South ticket like it's my last lifeline.
All of this because I can't find a goddamn replacement - even part time - for the shithole I work in. The misery starts in my lower intestine and works it's way upward until it comes out my ears and I do something like growl at the air or mutter curses like I have terettes. I can't think or focus on anything. This morning I almost took two birth control pills. It has to end or I'm going to give myself cancer. Everyone pray with me that I will find something before I throw myself under a bus. Mary K (who left today at 3:00 for the last time, *sniff*) and my sister are praying for my protection against my boss.
How did this happen?
Anyway, regardless of WHY, I will find a way out. And I will be grateful.
Or I might just win the lotto, tell the boss he can reach me at 1-800-EATSHIT if he has any questions, find a creative way to give him the finger and run out screaming "I'm not going to do it!"
How satisfying just to imagine that. *Smile*
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