��� 2006-06-19, 9:24 p.m.
What Dad Taught Me
Today would have been my dad's 68th birthday if he was alive today to celebrate. He would probably have some cheap beer, even cheaper menthol cigarettes, enjoy a steak (or the like) and call it a day. My dad taught me lots of good things so I thought I would share them:
My dad taught me about money and cleanliness: "Being poor is no excuse for being dirty."
My dad taught me math: "Six one way half a dozen the other."
My dad taught me about money and thermodynamics: "I'm not paying to heat the outside."
My dad taught me how to command an audience: "Now hear this!"
My dad taught me how to judge character: "What a dumb ass."
My dad taught me about car repair: "When's the last time you changed the oil?" Oil?
My dad taught me how to recognize false advertizing: "It says pork n' beans on the can but it looks to me like beans and a lump of fat."
My dad taught me about asking powerful questions: "Are you guys drinking my beer?"
My dad taught me about the power of words: I remember the last time he told me he loved me. My dad taught me that it's the thought that counts: I remember the last Christmas present he gave me and the last one I gave him. My dad taught me about regrets: I remember leaving the house without saying goodbye.
My parents raised nine children, me being the youngest. I think when people have served their purpose in life, or when their absence will teach their final lessons, that's when they go. When I was 17 he taught me the last thing I needed to know, then off he went. He really wasn't one to stick around when he wasn't needed. My brother said it best at his funeral when he said, "When I heard that Dad had died, my first thought was that God must have needed something fixed."
We can all rest assured that there are no leaky faucets, unsquare angles or broken down cars in heaven.
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