��� 2005-01-20, 9:30 p.m.
10 Years
Everyone has anniversaries. Good ones, bad ones, we all have them. Sometimes they fly right by and we don't even notice another year has gone by. Others hang around with us all day, like they're saying, "hey, don't think you can go all day without dealing with me."
Today is one of those anniversaries for me. Ten years ago today my dad died - abruptly, unexpectedly. It's a hard lesson to learn when you're 17. Every year that goes by I think about it, but for some reason this 10th anniversary of his loss is all I can think about.
I can play the "what if" game all day long. What if I'd stayed home that night instead of going out? I knew CPR. I might have been able to bring him back. What if I'd woken him before I left to say goodbye? Would that have made a difference? What if I had resuscitated him and he was a vegetable? Then mounds of suffering would be my fault.
This year, instead of the blame game, my what if's were more...grown up, I guess. What if he had known it was his last day on earth? What would he have done differently? What if I had known? Would I have tried to save him or accepted fate? It's better to not know. I can't imagine being in the house with him, knowing what was going to happen. Ignorance is bliss after all.
That said, take care of your heart, folks. You only get one.
Just so this entry isn't a total downer, I was going write this last night but since the diaryland server was down I couldn't. I have good news to share: we have a deal! The windows turned out to not be the problem we were worried that they were and all is well in home buying heaven. Closing should go as planned on the 31st.
I may have to go champagne shopping over the weekend. Oh, the suffering!
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Too Long - 2008-07-22
It's Over 2007 - 2007-11-30
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Daylight Savings Time - 2007-11-03