��� 2004-11-09, 8:03 p.m.
The Joyous Union
My best friend got married on Saturday. I flew to Wichita to proudly stand by her as Matron of Honor. (no longer a maid, I guess.)
I am an introvert. Introverts recharge by being alone. Being around lots of people is an emotional drain. I was around people non-stop for four days. It's a wonder I did not kill someone.
There were four small children in the wedding party. The smallest flower girl had to be carried down the aisle by her father, who deposited her at my feet. She proceeded to throw herself to the ground and wail at the top of her lungs. Thankfully, that was the worst of it. Another flower girl (the bride's new step-daughter) stood close to the bride while her honorary bridesmaids walked down the aisle and giggled loudly several times. That was actually kind of cute.
The ring bearer walked up the bride and groom and asked them what they were doing while they took communion. LOL.
For the recessional, they played "I'm a Believer" from Shrek and we were all supposed to jam down the aisle. The best man is a Southern Baptist. So I made a point of dancing extra hard to make up for his stiff demeanor.
I made it through the wedding without water works. But at the end of it all I threw myself at the bride and started bawling. Why the hell do chicks do that? I'm still wondering.
After everything was done and I was in my hotel room and had an opportunity to be alone...what did I do? I called up my friend Deanna and we went to a bar. I wanted an alcoholic beverage more than alone time. While we were there, two guys who marginally knew her showed up and invited themselves to sit with us. It was annoying, but I had three cosmopolitans and two bears and only paid for one. The benefits of being female.
In other news, I wrecked my car last week. Election night, to be exact. I endeavoured to turn left out of a gas station. A truck pulled up to the drive on my left and started flashing his lights and waving me out. He may as well have hung out the window and yelled "move your ass!" So, gee, I did, Gomer. Duh. MF. I probably believe in the Easter Bunny too. Guess who was coming in the lane on the other side of him? Jose and his family. Bang. I turned in my seat to find a Dodge Caravan in my door.
Jose proceeded to jump out of the van and yell obscenities. I don't know exactly how much English he knew, but he had the F-word down pat. I opted to stay in the car and wait for the police. Meanwhile, the f*ing asswipe buttranger that actually caused the accident was off in the night like an evil Robin Hood. Later, my insurance company told me that if he'd stuck around he would have been held liable for both cars' damages. MF.
A point in my favor is that the driver of the van does not have a driver's license. A point against me (maybe two) is that she's nine months pregnant. Why the HELL wasn't Jose f*ing driving? Jesus. Anyway they took her to the hospital to make sure she's ok, which I would have been shocked and appalled if they had not. I have not heard anything further on that. She seemed ok, but better safe than sorry.
My car, on the other hand, may be totalled. It's not that the hit was that hard, it wasn't. It's where it was hit. Frame damage. Totally screwed my door. The initial estimate was 94% of the car's value. Still no word as to what will become of my precious.
To make matters worse, I had just filled my gas tank, had a fresh oil change AND spent $800 friggin dollars on a new radiator two weeks before the wreck. Holy crap for crap.
Anyway, because of the circumstances the cop that arrived on the scene recommended I try to get the ticket thrown out. I will have my day in court on December 2nd. Yey.
Well, there's the newsflash. Sucks to be me.
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