��� 2004-10-31, 8:53 p.m.

Halloween

I'm so glad I experienced Halloween as a kid when and where I did. We'd go out only after dark or as close to it as we could wait. We went to any house any where any time. We didn't care who lived there as long as there was the promise of treats. We ate apples, carmel corn balls, hand made candies and every type of candy imaginable. I ran down the street away from my mom's car by myself in the rain and sleet wildly banging on every door with a light as fast as I could.

These days, you're supposed to go trick-or-treating before it gets dark, only to people's houses who you know and you can't eat anything that didn't come prepackaged from the crap factory. (As if that would stop a wacko from shooting it up with hypodermic full of Drano.) It seems like the holiday has been ruined. I never thought I'd say this, but thank God I grew up in the middle of nowhere.

God damn wackos ruin everything. Can't have decent trick-or-treating, can't fly on a plane without being strip searched, can't open an email without triple scanning it with a virus detector, can't pick up a hitchhiker, can't stop to help someone broken down on the side of the highway. Can't do this or someone can con you, kill you, rob you, violate you. What the crap.

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