��� 2004-05-04, 9:59 p.m.
7 Years
Seven years ago tonight I lived through the worst experience of my life. I was helpless as my now very ex-husband terrorized me for two hours. I remember moments where I thought he was going to break my nose, my neck, miscellaneous other body parts. I made it out in one piece and that was the last night we spent under the same roof together. The next time I saw him was in court.
Seven years is a long time. Seven years is a short time. Seven years is long enough to repair, redeem and reinvent oneself, but not long enough to forget. Seven years is long enough to learn who you are and forget who you were while under someone else's thumb. Seven years is long enough to hold two really good jobs (and a few not so great ones). Seven years is long enough to make some more mistakes, to hurt and be hurt and to learn to love again. The past year has been long enough for me to achieve 3rd brown belt in kung fu. Let the bastard try it again; we'll see who ends up crying on the kitchen floor. As you can see, seven years is too short to get rid of the image of his face every time I nail the punching bag and it says "ugh". Ahh, a good angst.
On the other hand, this also means that it has been just over seven years since I met the best friend I ever had. She picked me up off the ground after that experience and helped me put the pieces of my life into something that resembled a place I would want to be. She even helped me get a job. She taught me how to begin to respect myself and assert myself. You know who you are, and no words I can put down in this diary can express the thanks I have in my heart for all that you have done for me. Shesgonnatri, you have already achieved more on this planet by helping someone than most people can ever endeavor to accomplish. I prayed for you for months before I met you, and at just the right moment, there you were.
Here I get philosophical again. Hold on, this is going to be really eloquent: Shit happens. Sometimes really bad shit happens, but shit happens for a reason. I would not be the whole person I am if it weren't for those experiences. Every time the world blows up on me it's because something even better awaits me on the other side. I keep this in mind constantly.
Anywho, if my angst and philosophy can help anyone out there it will be worth it.
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