��� 2005-11-08, 7:21 p.m.
REjected
I recieved one of the more rude rejection letters I've ever gotten today. It says:
"I've read your submission and decided to pass. I didn't feel it was quite right for XYZ magazine. Typically, reasons I'll pass on material is for one or more of the following: lacked a unique plot; writing was poor; lacked elements of either the strange, surreal, or bizarre; was over 5,000 words. Please review our detailed guidelines at www.yaddayadda.comnetorg, and feel free to try us again."
I really felt like an idiot reading this rejection. Since my story did contain elements of the strange, surreal and bizarre and was less than 5,000, what he's really saying here is that my story sucked. This rejection is poor because it doesn't even state the possibility that one's manuscript was rejected on the basis of limited magazine space or too many great submissions or didn't fit the theme for upcoming issues. Additionally, the lack of goodwill is truly startling. I'm not surprised that you don't find this magazine at Barnes & Noble. (I know I won't be buying it again.) It pretty much says You Suck, then invites me to submit more in case I haven't been insulted enough. (I DID in fact review the guidelines. Jesus.) I therefore reject this rejection for the good of mankind.
I got a great rejection letter once telling me how great my story was and how disappointed the editor was that he didn't have room for it. Or the like, I don't remember exactly. But I really got warm fuzzies from that one. I should make a copy of it if I can find it and send it to editor dickhead along with a copy of his rejection marked up with red ink.
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